Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

02

Nov

Witticisms

Scarlett Johannsen said she was not embarrassed that she had naked pictures on her phone because she was sending them to her husband at the time, Ryan Reynolds. Ironic, because if anyone knows about appearing in things that should never be seen by millions of viewers, it’s Ryan Reynolds

Two NYPD officers were convicted of planting cocaine on an innocent couple in order to meet arrest quotas. Apparently, NYPD’s drug arrests have gone down drastically in the last year. But police may have to re-examine their approach if they were unable to find drug users among the unemployed, tent-dwelling, publicly fornicating 23-year-olds in drum circles on Wall Street.

Herman Cain’s pizza company, Godfather Pizza, is named after the famous movie. The slogan of the low-cost pizza company is based on one of the famous lines of the film: “I’ll make an offer you can’t refuse.” So I guess Cain figured he could use that with that women in the workplace…

 A woman in Australia pled guilty to throwing a condom at a worker in a McDonald’s drive-thru. As it was flying through the air, the employee couldn’t help but notice the condom was McRibbed for her pleasure.

A chemical used in the McRib was banned in parts of Europe, including France, because of potential health risks. When a country that eats chocolate for breakfast, drinks a bottle of wine at lunch and smokes a pack of cigarettes a day says something’s toxic, maybe it’s time to wonder what’s in the barbecue sauce.

  1. matt-ford posted this